Pop Quiz: Confidence

Your levels of confidence can have a massive impact on your ability to manage and maintain your own life. People with low confidence are more likely to be depressed, while confident people are more satisfied with life. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance however. Where do you fall?

Find out with this quick and utterly unscientific test.

1. Which of the following countries is somewhere you might consider visiting for an adventurous holiday?
a. Spain
b. Peru
c. Algeria

2. What happens when you get angry?
a. Nothing much, I keep it hidden as well as possible.
b. I give myself time to calm down, and then try to face the issue reasonably.
c. I make sure everyone knows it; I’m prepared to yell at anyone who angers me.

3. Are you comfortable asking assistants for help in shops?
a. If they approach me. I don’t want to bother them if they’re busy.
b. Sure, if I need help I’ll ask for it.
c. I demand immediate attention as soon as I walk in. Hunting for what I need is boring.

4. If you are attracted to someone, what do you do?
a. Hope they notice the fact I’m interested.
b. Get talking to them, and if it seems like a good idea, suggest a date.
c. Whisk them into bed, of course. I’m irresistible.

5. How do you deal with confrontation?
a. I hate confrontation, and avoid it whenever possible. If it happens anyway, I’ll do whatever it takes to end it swiftly.
b. Try to make sure I understand the other person’s point of view, and they understand mine. Then I’ll look for common ground.
c. I bite back. Harder.

6. How often do you eat out?
a. I don’t really like going out to dinner. Just for special occasions.
b. Fairly regularly, finances permitting.
c. Every night. Home cooking is a waste of time.

7. Do you like the idea of extreme sports?
a. Absolutely not. Why would I put myself in that sort of danger?
b. Some of them look like fun, and I might have a go if the opportunity arose.
c. The more extreme the better – I just love thrills.

8. How safe do you feel?
a. Not very, the world is a really scary place at the moment.
b. Reasonably safe. I know bad things can happen, but they’re not very likely.
c. I’m totally safe, nothing can touch me or mine.

9. A friend brings someone you don’t know to a meeting. What is your reaction?
a. It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t feel easy around people I don’t know.
b. Great! My friend is cool, so the chances are their other friend is cool too.
c. I’m annoyed – the meeting was supposed to be about us.

10. Would you go out on your own to a pub, restaurant, cinema etc.?
a. No, I only go out if there’s someone else with me.
b. Sure, if there’s no-one available and I want to go out, I’ll go out. No big deal.
c. If I go out, there are always people desperate to join me.

11. Are you attractive?
a. Being honest, no, I’m just not attractive unfortunately.
b. I guess I’m reasonably attractive. Different people have different tastes, anyway.
c. I’m totally gorgeous, actually.

12. Do you know what you like?
a. I tend to be more focussed on other people’s desires, so I’ve rather lost track of my own preferences.
b. Yes, I know who I am, and I accept that.
c. I deserve and demand nothing less than 5* luxury.

13. Do you enjoy large parties?
a. They’re not really my sort of thing. I prefer small gatherings of close friends.
b. Yes, they’re a good chance to meet new people and mingle.
c. Great! The bigger the party, the bigger my audience.

14. Are you lucky?
a. I’d say I’m usually unlucky.
b. I’m a fairly lucky person, yes.
c. Luck is for losers. I make my own luck.

15. How do you feel about your direction in life?
a. I don’t really have one, I’m just living day to day.
b. It’s important I have an idea of where I’m going, even if it changes over time.
c. I’m going straight to the top and staying there.

16. What do you do if someone tries to chat you up?
a. No-one ever tries to chat me up, and I probably wouldn’t realise if they did.
b. It’s always flattering. If it seems like a good idea, I’ll respond.
c. I make my boredom obvious. The question should ask what I’d do if someone didn’t try to chat me up.

17. Which of these is closest to your ideal holiday?
a. A week of peace and quiet in the countryside.
b. A fortnight abroad – preferably somewhere with nice weather and some interesting local culture.
c. An extended stay in a luxury resort with lots of servants at my beck and call.

18. How do you feel when a friend unexpectedly asks for your help with something?
a. I’m glad to be able to do something useful, so I drop whatever I’m doing to help.
b. I’ll help if I can of course, depending on what I’ve got on and how urgent it is.
c. A real friend wouldn’t make demands of me like that.

19. Do you go out walking around the area you live in?
a. No, I just don’t feel safe.
b. Sure, sometimes it is nice to explore and get to know the area better.
c. That’s what cars are for.

20. Would you like to receive a surprise party?
a. Definitely not. I like time to prepare myself for that sort of thing.
b. Why not? It could be fun.
c. I’d know. No-one would ever be able to slip something like that past me.

Scoring:

A: 0
B: 1
C: 2

Results

5 or less: This really isn’t a good score – but then you know that already. Your confidence is rock-bottom, and if you are honest with yourself, you know it is spoiling your life. Lack of confidence can come from a whole lot of different issues, but it is also a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you accept low confidence, the lower it gets. I strongly recommend you try facing your fears, and doing confident things you really don’t want to do. You’ll find that each time you do it, your fear recedes, even though it won’t much feel like it at the time. Keep on challenging yourself, and in a few months you’ll hardly recognise your life – in a good way. I guarantee it.

6 – 12: Your low confidence is a recurrent theme in your life, and it affects most of the things you do and aspire to. That’s a shame, honestly. It can be easy to always let others have their own way, even fool yourself that you’re being a nice person because of it. But the more you ignore your own needs, the more fragile and damaged you become. Make an effort to put yourself forward more. The rewards will be great.

13 – 28: Most people scoring in this range will have a healthy, well-adjusted relationship to themselves and their lives. Getting a majority of ‘B’ answers indicates that you have the self-assurance to take care of your own needs as well as the deal amicably with the bumps and curves of life. Be careful if your answers were mostly split between A and C however – that would indicate some major inconsistencies in your personality, enough that you may be drastically overcompensating in one area for serious confidence problems in another.

29 – 35: You’re not just confident, you’re positively cocky. While that may seem great to you – and probably helps you to get your own way most of the time – you may not realise that it can be quite isolating. Most people don’t like being ridden over, and find over-confidence off-putting. You probably have trouble making genuine friendships. Mellowing out a bit could help a lot.

36 – 40: Wow, you really are full of yourself. Few people find such arrogance easy to put up with, and even fewer find it attractive. You don’t care of course, you’re sure you don’t need those fools anyway. But this sort of attitude is almost always compensating for some terrible pain or insecurity deep inside, and honestly, being so dehumanised makes life is pretty miserable. What drives you to be so arrogant? Find that, and you’ll find the key to inner peace and contentment.