An old farmer had spent his life collecting tractors. Whenever one finally broke down or became hopelessly out of date, he refused to sell it, instead keeping it in a large barn. He even bought tractors that were no longer any use from other farmers. He tidied up the bodywork and polished them, treating them like museum exhibits. Eventually, when it was time for him to retire, he decided to sell off his massive collection so that he could live comfortably with his wife in a nice country cottage. So he put advertisements in local and national papers, inviting offers. He didn’t have long to wait.
A few days later, he received a letter from a businessman whose company had built some of the tractors mentioned in the advert many years before, and who had an interest in old vehicles himself. The two men arranged to meet in the farmer’s local pub on the following Sunday. The day came, and the businessman arrived. Despite the heavy clouds of pipe smoke, the two passed an hour in most pleasant conversation, and turned out to have much in common.
“Well,” sighed the farmer eventually, “I haven’t had such a good natter for a long time, but I suppose it’s about time we got down to business, eh?”
“Yes, I suppose so,” replied the other, “but maybe we could go somewhere else? I’m finding it hard to think in such a smoky atmosphere.”
The farmer grinned, and said “Ah, there’s no need for that. Watch this!”
He then proceeded to take an amazingly long, deep breath, and sucked in every last wisp of smoke in the room. He then turned to the window behind him and blew all the smoke out of the pub.
“Wow! How the hell did you manage that?” asked the businessman, astonished.
“Oh, it was nothing,” replied the farmer, “After all, I am an ex-tractor fan.”
(Sorry!)
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